I received a very insightful comment from Aziansea regarding the post "Impacts of modernization on marriage frameworks". This comment inspired me to consider to one of the larger issues that Muslims the world over are facing, which is how to engage with Islam in a modern context. The comment is below:
"This was one of the best explanations of gender relationships and modernization I've read. I thought about it in relation to what constitutes "appropriate" relationships between the sexes now, in contrast to the time of the Prophet, PBUH. The essence is the same--in terms of humility, modesty--but the ground on which those values are enacted is vastly different and more complex than in the 7th century peninsula. It also seems that modernization and higher education have a double potential: to increase women's education and role in the public sphere, but also to weaken the patriarchal extended family. I wonder if this creates a situation where it is easier to blame family problems in society on women since they appear to be the main beneficiaries of greater access to education...Are we not seeing this in the right-wing backlash against the women's movement in the US? Good post!"
Thanks for your comment Az! I think you're spot on in terms of the backlash against women in the states and in many other countries around the world. With that, we hit another layer of hegemonic patriarchy. Maleness is the norm and anything or one that pushes what is currently defined within that norm is the "other," a potential threat, and ultimately wrong. So the impact that women's involvement in public has on marriages, on families and on society is now women's problem/fault, that each individual woman should correct for.
Every society in the world (that I know of, though perhaps not all) operates in a patriarchal framework. So everyone deals with this. There is only a sliding scale regarding how much or in what ways this force impacts our lived realities. The same is true for Muslim cultures and how have interpreted Islamic teachings throughout history. The power of patriarchy and the difficulty with challenging it using familiar methods is that there are only two international recognized genders. So men are continuously presented in opposition to women and vice versa. In this model, there is always 'an other' and keeping any 2 things in opposition will always be limiting. Strategically, the subjugated has no allies other then sympathetic members of dominate group. That familiar method of fighting systemic power structures is arduous (we've all seen this before) and international scale almost unheard of. With this oppositional framework in play as the foundation within which men and women interaction, it's no wonder so many marriages fail.
One modern method of engaging with Islam has been through a feminist approach. While I can certainly appreciate modern feminist interpretations of Islam (that is re-reading the Qur'an, lessons from Hadith, etc), I think this dichotomous approach continues placing male interpretations, also called 'traditional', interpretations at the center. It won't get us (humanity) anywhere but going back and forth among ourselves. Its suffocating. I think one of the messages we can take away from the Prophet (PBUH) and his marital relationships is that there is no one way beyond perhaps a principled one. So, as we look to address Islam to inform our modern lives, let us do so not with an eye that the guidance and texts inform or describe what exists or even should exist, but with the eye for seeing what is possible. Let possibility be our framework. What do you think?
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